Finding "Us" Again

 the early "us"

the early "us"

I have gone back and forth on wether or not to post this, but I finally decided that it is our truth, our story, and so I want to share it.  Maybe you can relate, and maybe not.  Either way is fine with me.  Let me first get this out of the way: some of our story will be easy for me to share, and some of it will be extremely hard.  Your judgement is not welcome here.  I don't share for your approval.  I am sharing because we are all human.  We all want to be accepted.  We all want to feel like we are relatable.  So, I hope you can relate in one way or another.  Ok, moving on.

This is a story about a couple of kids who fell in love very quickly...like engaged after a couple of months quick!  No one and nothing else in the world mattered but Him and Me.  We were head over hills, twitterpated, smitten.  He swept me off of my feet and he accepted my boys as his own.  He was the yin to my yang.  How in the hell did I get so lucky??

We were married 6 months after our speedy engagement, and immediately started trying for a baby of our own.  (We don't do slow!)  What followed was a whirlwind of pregnancy, miscarriage, fertility tests and treatment, artificial insemination, In Vitro Fertilization, lots of shots and needles,  and finally, twins.  Life was bliss.  We had everything we wanted.  We were happy.  Then somehow the days just started to blur together.  And in the middle of that blur, we lost sight of each other.  We lost "Us".  Date nights were replaced with diapers and dishes, laundry and medical bills.  We drifted apart, slowly.  So slow, that we didn't even know it was happening.  Until we did. 

This last year has been an extremely trying time for "Us" and for our marriage.  There have been days that we have both wanted to quit.  To give up.  To walk away.  The one thing we were able to agree on was that marriage was fucking hard.  One of the hardest walks in our life was the one we were on together.  The thing about marriage is that when you are with "The One", you will fight like hell to make it work.  You just will.

So, here we are, Him and Me.  We are bound and determined to find "Us" again.  And we probably won't be the same "Us" that we were 7 years ago, and that's ok.  The truth is that we are both looking forward to this rediscovery of each other.  The thought of learning who we are again is kind of exciting.  We are going to start dating each other again, and I intend to blog about those dates.  The good ones, the bad ones, the awkward ones.  And maybe, just maybe, if you're feeling like your marriage is in a rut or a stand still, you can take a little bit of what I share and take it to your own relationship.  I am by no means a love expert, I am just a girl who is looking to be reunited with her husband.  Nothing less.  Nothing more.  

Welcome to our story.