Finding Us, Chapter 2 : We Need The Dark To See The Stars
It's been a week.
I can't believe it's only been 7 days since our last date, because it feels like an eternity ago. The Husband was out of town most of this past week for a convention, so it was just the kids and I. Not that I'm complaining. I love my kids dearly, but you can only handle so much Curious George, whiney toddlers and teenage shenanigans before you start to feel like you're losing your shit. Trust me. I don't mind being home alone with them, but I do know that I miss having Him home to talk through the day with, the funny parts and the shitty parts. The hard parts and the silly parts. Having Him to unwind with at the end of the day has been something that I have missed and craved not just this past week, but this entire past year. We let that part of Us dwindle into a simple "Sleep Good" at the end of the night. Some nights there wasn't even a good night kiss. It was robotic. It became our routine and the distance between us came fast and heavy. I felt like we were both living day to day in complete darkness. I can't speak for Him but I know that I have felt unseen for quite some time. That's not the way you want to feel in a marriage. We are working at this.
Needless to say, I was counting down the minutes to the weekend because I knew We had our second date to look forward to. Our first stop was dinner at Spencer's For Steaks And Chops. It was a new place for both of us, and the food was fabulous. The only thing I wish we had done was check into prices a little more beforehand. We both choked on our water when we looked at the menu prices. We contemplated getting up and going somewhere cheaper, but we stayed and now we know better for the next time we are trying out a new spot. If you're going on a budget, check prices!!
We used this dinner to try and catch each other up on our week apart. What went on with the kids and I at home, and what he was most excited about learning during his martial arts convention. It was good reconnection time that was sprinkled with moments of flirtation--you forget how good it feels to be flirted with if you stop practicing it.
After dinner I didn't know what He had planned for us, other than we were going to be outside. The Husband said we had some time to kill so we decided to spend it walking around City Creek, holding hands and watching some of the amazing water fountains. They are beautiful at night when they are lit up!
All throughout the day He had tried giving me clues as to what we were doing that night, but I didn't catch on. He asked me what my favorite animal was, and when I responded with "Mermaid!", he corrected himself with ZOO animal, to which I answered "Ellies and Giraffes!". He asked me to remember the term "Camelopardalis"--uh....ya right! And then the Husband placed this scroll in my lap and said we had a 20 minute drive to our destination.
This seems like the perfect time to add that I HATE surprises! I just do. They make me uneasy and worrisome, but I played along anyway. He pulled into some dark and desolate parking lot where I'm pretty sure I was going to be murdered, but luckily that wasn't the case. We walked into a large group of people that were all huddled together in groups surrounding several different telescopes that had been set up for a Star Party. It was such a sweet and unique idea, something that I had never even heard about! The Husband told me to open my scroll, to which I was surprised with an off-the-charts amazing gift. He had a Star named for me! What the hell, right?? I mean, who does that? He gave the Star's coordinates to one of the volunteers at the event who helped us locate it and see it through one of their scopes. It was crazy cool and one of the sweetest things the Husband has ever done.
The Star is registered in the International Star Registry vault in Switzerland under the new name "Tink". And of course the star belongs to a giant family of stars named Camelopardalis, which means "The Giraffe Constellation." I mean, c'mon!
I walked away from this date with some new thoughts on life, love and marriage. We have to be willing to put in the work, just like with anything else in life, if we want to see results. We have to be willing to do things that feel uncomfortable if we want to grow, either as a person or as a couple. And most importantly, this date taught me that just like we need the dark to be able to see the stars, we need the downs to recognize the ups. We need the struggle to realize when it's great. We need a little shitty to recognize the amazing times.
It's getting better...